February 7, 2012 – Two major events occurred in my life.
- I turned 40 years old
- I sat in a courtroom finalizing a divorce I didn’t ask for or want
Here we are one year later. This past Thursday marked my 41st birthday and the one year anniversary of the divorce. As I reflected on the events of the past year I began asking myself some questions about my life now compared to then. I wanted to share just a few thoughts with my readers about this.
When Thursday rolled around this year my first thoughts weren’t of my birthday. My mind went back in time to the previous year. I can vividly remember sitting before the judge and signing the documents. As I said, I didn’t ask for it and it wasn’t what I wanted. But, as I look back on the year since that day, I can tell you now with great confidence that it turned out to be a good thing. Knowing things I know now, I can see it was for the best. I won’t sir here and say I’m glad it happened, but I will say I am a better person because of it. God has opened my eyes to so much over the past year, and I’m so thankful for that.
I can’t go back and change the past…wouldn’t want to. I’m learning daily to live without regrets. What’s done is done. Now, look forward to a hopeful future. That has become a mantra for me to live by. I view each day as a gift from God. Some days are better than others, but God has put some amazing people in my life over the past year to help me through the rough days. Thursday I realized how important so many of those people are to me. I have family and friends who have been beside me every step of the way. (You know who you are.) With these people loving me and walking with me, I’ve been able to really let go of some old hurts and emotions that were doing nothing but bringing me down. Thank God for these people!
This time last year I was looking for ways to heal the hurt. Now I no longer do that. God has healed the hurt. He has led me to a better place in my life. My relationship with my kids is better than ever! We have really bonded over the past year, and for that I am truly thankful. I’m also closer to my sister as a result of all I’ve been through. And, God continues to put friends in my life at just the right times to keep me focused on the important stuff and not dwell on the past. I am so very blessed!
The biggest question that came to mind this week was this:
Am I happier now than I was last year?
The answer to that is…yes! Do I still feel some hurt and disappointment from the divorce? Absolutely! I would be lying if I said no. But, overall I am a much happier person. As I said, God has opened my eyes to so much. Knowing the things I now know…well, let me just say I can’t help but be happier. Every day I can see how He is shaping my life. I can look back over the trials of the past year and see when He carried me through. When I vividly remember very dark, difficult days, I can remember with equal clarity the peace He gave. God has led to me to a better, happier place in life. I have no doubt that I am exactly where He wants me to be.
To those who read this and know you are one I mentioned above…THANK YOU!! Each one of you has touched my life in a very special way. Some of you may not even realize it. You may have prayed for me, sat across from me & listened, or just did something as simple as speaking a kind word. My friends and family are great, and I love you all!!